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Awaken Your Creative Intent

by heatherash

The catalyst for internal alchemy is what I call "creative
intent." This is your ability to find new ways of moving past
obstacles while staying focused on your final goal.

Support Your Internal Creativity

Creativity is the feminine polarity of life, a sense of playful
experimentation. Creative energy is the flow of art, and moves as
a spontaneous response to stimuli. Creativity stems from dreaming
and intuition, and a wide horizon of perception.

Creativity is the juiciness and flow of life. It is often
unexpected, unexplainable, and unpredictable. Creativity is our
unique expression of life, which we manifest for the pure joy of
it. When we are in the river of creative flow, we seek neither
reward nor recognition; rather, we tap into the unknown, and
mystery moves through us into form.

Creativity cannot be forced or scheduled, but it can be enticed
and allowed. As we make ourselves vessels and clear out our
doubts, "shoulds," and rules, creativity often comes to fill and
overflow us. We see new possibilities, new actions, and new ways
of being. We are inspired to take the images, sensations, and
taste of our inner world and make them tangible. This creative
expression is not only what artists strive for; it is a vital
force helping us move through our own internal obstacles and
fears.

Our places of limitation often stem from the creative ways we
tried to stay "safe" when we were children. For example, most of
us grew up with a sense of scarcity in our lives: not enough
love, resources, self-confidence, etc. In order to compensate, we
create fantastic agreements or strategies, e.g., "I have to be in
a relationship or I am not whole." "If I have a lot of money in
the bank, I am safe." "If I make sure everyone likes me, I know I
am a good person." (These are examples of wacky internal
creativity.)

As we become more aware and strive to change these agreements,
obstacles arise. Our old structure, which we created to order an
unpredictable world, fights to stay alive. Our habitual response
is to follow the old pattern, e.g., "That relationship just
ended, so I must quickly find another one, or feel lonely and
fragmented until I do." "I am feeling insecure, so I am going to
go buy something expensive" (and later go into fear that I don't
have enough money.) "My friend is disappointed in me, so I must
have done something wrong."

When we are willing to risk being creative, there are a million
different ways we can respond to stimuli. It is exciting, for we
pull our heads out of our tiny box of responses and look towards
infinity for our answers. We approach obstacles and fears with a
sense of adventure: "What will I do today?" "Who will I be
today?" "What will I learn about myself today?"

For example: 
Your relationship ends, and you consciously choose to be
creative, so you

o (and your former partner) have a divorce celebration with
close friends to support you, where you cut the cords on this and
all of your previous relationships;

o spend a week in retreat, nourishing yourself with good food
and long hikes;

o take your new alone time to do something you have always
dreamed of;

o get on the internet and create a personal ad, and then go on
dates with fifteen people in four weeks with the agreement that
you will not get into a relationship, but simply explore what you
like or who how you act around others;

o shave your head and dedicate yourself to meditation for a
year;

o volunteer to help a child in need;

o find a good therapist or spiritual guide.

In other words, you are creative, and you do anything that
breaks the habit of your usual pattern. To cultivate your own
creativity, try these activities for a week:

o Select a problem in your life and list at least ten different
ways to work with it. Let some of your ideas be outrageous.
Stretch your mind. If you cannot think of a problem, take the
examples above (money in the bank or disappointing a friend) and
list ten creative things someone could do. Then do at least one
of these creative ideas this week.

o Pay attention to the ways your mind goes into habit.
Constantly ask yourself: "How can I be creative in this
situation?"

o Do at least one physical activity that opens up your
creativity: paint a dream, visit a museum and wander through the
hallways feeling the art, dance wildly under the moonlight, build
a fire and speak to the flames, sing out loud in public.

Tapping into your creativity may feel awkward at first. Remember
you are breaking your own box, which can feel frightening,
liberating, or both. Enjoy and keep breathing through whatever
arises. Pay attention to where you want to limit yourself, or
where you are uncomfortable stepping out of your own comfort
zone. Keep dancing towards the infinite.

Hone Your Intent

To stop undermining yourself and truly unfurl your wings means
attending not only to the beginning, but also the perhaps
uncomfortable middle all the way through the alchemical process
of internal transformation. Intent is the masculine polarity of
life, the movement of focused purpose. It is the determined
questing of science, and it moves as a piercing force of
transformation. Intent stems from disciplined stalking of the
goal and strong action to stay on course.

Intent is the clarity in life that keeps us focused on a
specific purpose. Intent acts as the guiding force for our
actions in the world. It gives us direction and the will to carry
on, despite the obstacles that arise. Intent is a combination of
determination and dedication. Intent is a science, a practice of
getting from point A to point B systematically without getting
distracted or straying from the course. Intent allows us to see
beyond chaos, fear, and temptation. All of our senses align with
our goal. All of our energy aligns with our senses. We are a pure
point of perception, undaunted by the impossible. We know what we
want and are not afraid to go for it.

One problem, however, is that our intent often flows from an
unconscious place. When we act from unconscious intent, our
integrity and truth are compromised. Our actions are colored by
our experiences of the past. Old agreements and fears dictate how
we react to life happening around us. Our intent then stays at
its default setting, which is usually the setting we agreed to
when we were very young.

We would never consciously say: "My intent is to sabotage myself
and prove that I am not deserving," or "My intent is to never put
my full heart and energy into any project, so I do not have to
worry about failing," or "My intent is to blame everyone else
around me for my inability to take responsibility for my life
decisions." But we hold these types of unsupportive intents and
live our lives from them.

There is a great little book that expresses perfectly the sort
of intents we carry within us. "Today I Will Nourish My Inner
Martyr" is a book of "Affirmations for Cynics," or really, for
the unconscious. Some favorite samples are:

o "Today, instead of dealing with situations that upset me, I
will create melodramatic diversions."

o "I have a right to be a victim after all that I have been
through."

o "Because I demand that everything in my life is the best and
beautiful, I will disown my body today."

o "Today I will remind myself that my friends and family are
just waiting for me to fail."

o "Today I will cultivate a relationship with an especially
needy person so I can fulfill my need to be needed."

The first step in honing your intent is to clear out the garbage
intents that clog your system. They are heavy energies that weigh
down the lightness of pure, conscious intent. Play with making up
intents for yourself based on your unconscious beliefs. Keep this
practice as play, for it will expose more of your unconscious
heaviness. Notice where you are sabotaging yourself or acting in
ways that go against your heart. Then make a joke of it:

o "Today, I will wake up depressed and then punish myself all
day for it."

o "Today, I will make a mistake and repeat it in my head over
and over again."

o "Today, I will say I want to write, but I will spend the day
cleaning up someone else's mess."

Get these thoughts out in front of you so you can see them. Once
you are aware, you have the power to make a choice and ask, "Is
that really the intent I want to hold for my day/week/life?"

Once you have played with and felt you unconscious intents,
rewrite what intent you actually want to be living from. What
different action can you take? How can you bring the creative
aspect in to this new intent? Write these intents when you are
not in the pattern, i.e. before you get depressed, confused,
anxious, etc. Action is best planned from a neutral or joyous
space. Make three action steps you will take that oppose the old
intent, or nourish your new one (preferably one of each).

For example: 
o "Today if I wake up depressed, I will not believe the lies my
mind tells me. Instead I will (a) call two people and ask them to
tell me what they appreciate about me, (b) will email two people
and share what I appreciate about them, and/or (c) go out and
take a dance class."

o "Today I will write despite distraction or drama. If I get
distracted or caught in drama, I will (a) take a deep breath and
acknowledge my distraction; (b) get my butt back to the writing
chair with minimal judgment, (c) drink a cup of tea while I read
what I wrote before I was distracted, and continue onward, and/or
(d) spend a few moments looking at what I felt like before I was
distracted, and what uncomfortable feeling or thought arose that
I can teach myself to sit through.

Write out your new intent, and new actions someplace you will
have them handy when the situation next arises. Do your actions
when you get off track; don't rethink them. Notice the results,
and enjoy.

Heather Ash Amara weaves powerful practices of shamanic
traditions to help people reach their potential. She apprenticed
and taught extensively with Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four
Agreements. She wrote Four Elements of Change and founded the
Toltec Center for Creative Intent. She runs <a
href="http://www.spiritualintegrity.com/coach">Spiritual
Integrity Coaching</a> with Raven Smith. Read more <a
href="http://www.spiritualintegrity.com/content/articles">creative
actions</a> from Heather Ash.

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