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Want to Get Divorced Because the Grass is Greener on the Other Side?

by kramnor

There are many reasons why people get divorced. Of course, if
there is physical abuse or mental abuse that makes it unsafe to
continue the relationship, that trumps weighing the following
factors on deciding whether to get divorced.

For the other married couples, particularly with children, you
may have these feelings and thoughts as you contemplate divorce:

You are not happy with your life. You sometimes don't want to
get out of bed or come home from work. You and your spouse are
not being intimate anymore. You feel you made a mistake getting
married to your spouse. Your spouse does not appreciate you. You
argue too much. The children are witnessing unhappy parents. This
list goes on and on.

The best way to decide if the grass will be greener on the
divorce side is to take a look into the future.

Stage one is the separating process. There are many decisions to
be made. You need to make arrangements on how you are going to
live on your own. If you don't have your own job or make enough
money, then that becomes a major obstacle. Finding suitable
employment and paying child care need to be solved.

You need to figure out how you will have enough money to live.
You can ask for alimony if the other spouse makes a substantial
higher amount of income. This will most likely cause the other
spouse to become more adversarial. So any first thoughts of a
friendly separation are already being tested.

Second, if there are children, who will they live with, and how
much child support can the non-custodial parent afford? If it is
not enough for you, then you can force child support payments
through court action. Again, this will have an affect on the
friendliness of the separation. What about any real estate, cars,
loans, credit cards, and pensions? How will these be divided?

The most serious issue is the children. What affect will this
have on the children? Will they have to change schools? What does
the custody and visitation schedule look like? How close are the
children to the non-custodial parent? If very close, they will
surely miss that parent.

If you remember in your marriage the problems getting along with
your spouse, well just think two more people may be involved in
your life. You and your spouse will probably move on and find new
loves of your life. Now there will be four personalities involved
in your lives when it comes time to spend time with the children.
They both will want to have some involvement in raising your
children. They may not agree with your style of rearing the
children. The time the children spend with the other spouse is
not under your control.

Also, your children may even want to call the new spouses mommy
or daddy. Even though this can be prevented legally, it still
shows the attachment they have with the new step-parent. Is this
something that you are ok with?

Maybe there will be more children with the new spouses and you
will now want to or have to figure out how all the children can
spend time together. Also, you may feel that your new spouse
treats your children from your previous differently than your new
children. Maybe your new spouse has children from another
marriage. That adds more ex-spouses to the pot.

How about money and how you spend it on your children from the
previous marriage? If you die, how will you devise your property
between your new spouse and the children from the previous
marriage?

After answering all these questions you still feel the grass is
greener on the other side, you have serious marital problems and
should immediately go to a counselor.

If you come to the conclusion that the grass is not greener on
the other side, take action, and seek counseling. Do not settle
on being miserable. Make a commitment to be a different person
and open the love tank in your spouse and yourself. Remember in
the Beatles song, "And in the end the love you take is equal to
the love you make."

Knowing your <a href="http://bethebesttoday.com">legal and
consumer rights</a> is your best defense.

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