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Why Do Men Jump And Dump?

This may sound a bit familiar to some of you…

The first few dates with him are pure bliss. He seems to be the perfect guy for you. As the dates go by, your attraction to him grows stronger, until you decide that it’s time for the final cut: the bedroom. You got everything going and it was incredible!

For a few days, everything’s okay – until he starts to change. He starts to pull away after you have started talking about a deeper relationship ahead. His interest in you seems to taper off as quickly as it had sprouted. Before you know it, he’s a stranger again.

Even if situations like these make you might think that men have only sex in their mind, it’s simply not true in all cases. Men, whether good or bad, see relationships differently from you, and deal with them accordingly. In the abovementioned story, sleeping with him and discussing deeper commitments so early in the relationship made him lose the attraction he used to have for you.

Here are some hard facts you might want to keep in mind when the idea of sleeping with him comes to mind.

Men love the challenge of being in a relationship. This is why they are so easily addicted to video games and sports that require a certain amount of perseverance. They need to accomplish goals, as it gives them fulfillment and reinforces the idea they are, in fact, men.

The same goes for relationships – he’s out there to rock your world. He’s in for the challenge of winning you over and make you want him. Nothing would please him more than the feeling of this victory.

Wait – if he’s in for the challenge, then why does he suddenly lose interest after he sleeps with you?

Here’s another fact: men love the thrill of the chase. If you give him his victory too soon, then he’ll go out to fulfill his need for another challenge – just like waiting for the next sports event or buying his next video game.

So don’t give him the chance to win you over so easily. Always remember that he needs a constant challenge – a chase – to keep it interesting for him. If he gets the idea that he has completely won the challenge, then you’re already giving him the RED light. It’s a signal for him to completely stop and move on in the pursuit of another challenge. And it does not involve you in it.

Do not ask him about taking your relationship to the next level, especially after sleeping with him. Let him come into terms to settle with you, and not the other way around.

Here’s the good news: You can take control of things. Men love the challenge and the chase in relationships because they love feeling attracted to you. Just as he’d like to make you happy, he’d like it as much if you rocked his world, too. If he’s constantly drawn towards you, then he won’t pull away so easily.

In short, don’t sleep with him so early in your relationship. Find ways to keep him attracted to you – this can be done by constant communication, doing social activities together, involving each other in your lives – anything to keep that connection and attraction healthy. After all, it’s this attraction that will open him to the possibility of settling into a more permanent relationship with you.

About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out why men lose interest, and what you can do about it.

Author Profile: Aaron_Adams
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